That’s what I am.
Today is one of THOSE days.
I don’t know what God was thinking when He placed the gifts inside of me that He did! It seems like lately I battle this sinking feeling that I am not going to be able to pull it off! Must it all be so hard? Not that things need to be easy… they don’t. But how about just not so hard?
Yesterday I told my BFF that I’ve been fantasizing about just dropping everything that I am involved in – and just walking (or running!) away into the sunset. Forever. Yep… I am having moments of wanting to quit.
But all I really am is AFRAID.
Afraid of failing. And that fear of failure causes me to want to run. I don’t want to embarrass God.
I don’t want to be afraid of saying the wrong thing or of offending people. I don’t want to get in the way of whatever plan God has for the people who will see/hear me speak.
Simply because of time, I worry about not being able to do everything I am supposed to be doing: speaking, writing books, blogging, producing, singing, etc…
All I have ever really wanted is to be a successful Christian – a Christian who is rooted and grounded, who knows how to utilize the weapons of warfare; a strong woman of God who isn’t tossed around or taken by surprise by any of the adversary’s wily tactics.
That’s where I’m at today. Relax, my friend… I am NOT quitting. I just feel like running away – but I have choices today. I can make the choice to listen to the lies that say I will be an embarrassment to God – or confront that lie with the TRUTH about how God sees me: I’m the apple of His eye, y’all!
Today, I can choose to listen to His voice as He whispers in my ear and tells me that He is so tickled by me that He sings over me!
Wow. I make God sing!
Today I know that it doesn’t matter what the situation LOOKS like. It doesn’t matter what I see, what I hear, what I smell, what I touch or what I feel. I know that He sees me as His beloved daughter and that He couldn’t possibly love me (or you) anymore than He does at this very moment!
With your whole heart and both feet, step into the position that God has placed you in! Don’t buy the lie and let fear paralyze you and keep you from using the gifts that God has placed inside of you.
He loves you like crazy and you make Him smile!
Zeph. 3:17: The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”